A Tragic Wolf Called ‘Romeo’ Was Loved Too Much And Deserved Better.

On a twilit night in Juneau, Alaska, in December 2003, Nick and Sherrie Jans were walking with Dakotah, their yellow Lab, in the Mendenhall Glacier Recreation Area not far from their house. Suddenly, a young black wolf appeared on the ice—and began running in their direction. Awestruck but scared, the couple watched as Dakotah broke loose and charged the predator, which was twice the size of the dog. The animals stopped yards apart and gazed at each other “as if each were glimpsing an almost-forgotten face and trying to remember,” recalled Jans. After a few moments, Dakotah ran back to her owners, and the three hurried home, listening to the wolf howl

The locals named him Romeo, and soon his presence was noted by the entire town. Most found it fascinating that Romeo was so friendly, while others assumed that this naturally predatory animal would give into his natural instincts at any moment, potentially attacking their pets and children.

During this time Nick Jans started documenting Romeo. When he did, he uncovered an emotional story, the heart of which describes the tenuous relationships between wild animals and the humans around them.

“The first thing I saw was tracks out on the lake in front of our house on the outskirts of Juneau,” Jans said in an interview with National Geographic. “A few days later, I looked out from my house and there was this wolf out on the ice. I’d had 20 years of experience around wolves up in the Arctic and immediately knew it was a wolf, not a dog. I threw on my skis and found him.”

ROMEO

According to Jans, Romeo seemed totally relaxed and friendly.

And it wasn’t just one interaction, either: Romeo remained his curious, friendly self for the better part of six years.

“For want of a better word,” Jans said, “The only thing I can say from a human perspective is that it amounted to friendship. If you wanted to be scientifically correct, it would be “social mutual tolerance.” But it was more than that. The wolf would come trotting over to say hi, and give a little bow and a relaxed yawn, and go trotting after us when we went skiing. There was no survival benefit. He obviously just enjoyed our company.”

Romeo’s behavior was definitely unusual, as many wolves tend to assert dominance by attacking dogs and other animals.

The wolf got his name because Jans and his family noticed how Romeo was kind of a flirt — particularly with their “Juliet,” a dog named Dakotah. Here, they’re standing nose-to-nose in what seems to be an all-too-perfect photo moment.

Romeo survived for years despite many mortal threats: scented traps, busy roads, illegal hunting, and even a poisoning attempt. He also had to contend with the natural dangers of starvation, injury, and attack by another pack of wolves. By almost any standard, his prolonged proximity to humans and dogs constituted incredibly rare behaviour. There was no obvious survival benefit to his socializing, yet the wolf lingered persistently, a late echo of the original process that must have initiated the domestication of dogs.

“When you get down to the genetic difference between a wolf and a domestic dog, whether it is a Chihuahua or a Great Dane, all dogs are 99.98 percent genetically a wolf. That 0.02 percent obviously looms huge, because if you raise a wolf cub from the time it opens its eyes, it may make a wonderfully bonded animal, but it will not be a dog, no matter what you do. It will act like a wolf and be a wolf. It takes generations to shape the soul of a wolf and its physical shape into man’s best friend.”

Romeo stayed in the area for as long as he lived — and he lived three times longer than most wild wolves do.

“Romeo was the single most transformative event of my life,” Jans said. “The amazing thing was Romeo’s understanding. It wasn’t just our understanding and tolerance. It was the combination of his and ours and the dogs’. We were these three species working out how to get along harmoniously. And we did.”

What happened to Romeo?                                                                                                   Romeo disappeared in late September 2009. After some sleuthing, a supporter found he had been shot and killed by Juneau resident Park Myers III and his Pennsylvanian friend Jeff Peacock. Both men were arrested and ended up paying fines, serving a few years on probation, and losing hunting and fishing privileges for a limited time. In late November 2010, a memorial service was held for Romeo and this plaque was laid along a path where he once roamed.

“Nothing can take away the miracle that was Romeo and the years we spent in his company,” writes Jans. “Love, not hate, is the burden we carry.”

Nick Jans’ beautiful account of his unusual relationship is now in a book called A Wolf Called Romeo.

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US Trophy Hunter Pays $181,000 To Kill An Astore Markhor In Gilgit-Baltistan, Pakistan.

According to Gilgit Baltistan wildlife officials, Brian Douglas Williams from the US successfully hunted an Astore Markhor (Capra falconeri) in Doyan, with a ‘trophy size’ of 40-inch horns.

US trophy hunter Brian Douglas Williams with the endangered Astore Markhor.

The hunter paid a $181,000 trophy hunting permit fee to the GB Wildlife Department (GBWD) for the hunt.

The trophy hunting programme starts in October and ends in April the following year.

The Gilgit-Baltistan (GB) government’s wildlife department on auctioned trophy hunting permits for 104 endangered animals, with the highest permit to hunt the Astor Markhor fetching a record $186,000, a wildlife department official confirmed.

The licenses included four for Astore Markhors, 14 for Blue Sheep, and 88 for Himalayan Ibex in various community conservation areas across US Trophy Hunter Pays $181,000 To Kill An Astore Markhor In Gilgit-Baltistan, Pakistan.

The enormous license fee to kill the rare Markhor, a long-horned goat native to Pakistan and found in its snowy northern mountains, is one of the highest in the world. The trophy hunting program was first introduced by the region’s administration in GB’s Nagar Valley in 1990, attracting international hunters who have since been paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to target a limited number of wild animals in the area. The program was later extended to different areas of GB.

The Astore Markhor

Trophy hunting is viewed worldwide as a controversial practice as it involves hunting of rare animals for sport and displaying their parts as trophies. Conservationists argue the trophy hunting program in northern Pakistan prevents poaching and empowers local communities. Markhors are usually found at heights of 8,000-11,000 feet, but during the winter months descend to between 5,000-6,000 feet, which is when the hunting season kicks off.

Pakistan is famous for the Markhor, which is distinguished by its nimble and sure-footed nature, as well as long winter coat and massive spiral horns, which can grow to more than 1.5 meters (5 feet) in length for males.

The Markhor’s current estimated population is between 3,500 and 5,000, a majority of them in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa (KP), followed by Gilgit-Baltistan (GB) and Balochistan.

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Istanbul Police Bust Wildlife Trafficking Ring As Raid On Illicit Wildlife Museum Reveals Stuffed Endangered Animals Worth $2.3m

Some of the animals illegally killed by Ali Haydar Ustay. Credit: Istanbul Police Department’s Anti-Smuggling and Organized Crime Branch

In an operation conducted in the districts of Sarıyer and Arnavutköy in Istanbul, over 400 taxidermied specimens of protected wild animals were confiscated. The suspect, 85-year-old Ali Haydar Ustay, who established a private museum by hunting animals domestically and internationally, has been apprehended.

During the raid conducted on Wednesday at the identified addresses, over 400 pieces of processed ornamental items and taxidermied animals were seized. New details emerged during the operation, revealing that taxidermied specimens and trophies of wildlife were present. Consequently, Ali Haydar Ustay was apprehended as a “suspect.” During the searches conducted at the addresses, various types of stuffed animals were seized, including Deer, American Antelope, Bison, Jaguar, Crocodile, Bear and Mountain Goat, with an approximate market value of TL 75 million ($2.3).

More of the animals seized by the Istanbul Police Department’s Anti-Smuggling and Organized Crime Branch.

The raid was the final step in detailed physical and technical tracking and resulted in the seizure of over 400 specimens, including species protected under the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora (CITES).

The haul features taxidermied Polar Bears, Crocodiles, Lions, Jaguars, Cheetahs, Bison, and a notable Mammoth tusk. Authorities have valued the collection at a staggering $2.3 million.

Ustay, known for his extensive hunting expeditions, travelled to 30 countries on six continents to amass his collection. He illegally transported the animals into Turkey via his private aircraft.

The Polar Bear killed by Ali Haydar Ustay. Credit: Istanbul Police Department’s Anti-Smuggling and Organized Crime Branch.

He went to extraordinary lengths to pursue his prey, including a two-week stint in a tree for a Striped Deer and a two-month stay in Canada for a Polar Bear.

The most egregious of his acts include the hunting and killing of the last known Anadolu Tiger in Turkey. “This is not just a crime against nature but a direct assault on our national heritage and biodiversity,” said a General Directorate of Nature Conservation and National Parks spokesperson.

The skin of the last known Anadolu Tiger in Turkey. Credit: Istanbul Police Department’s Anti-Smuggling and Organized Crime Branch.

The discovery of the Tiger’s skin in Ustay’s collection has stirred a wave of outrage among wildlife activists and conservationists.

Authorities have commenced the process of handing over the seized items, including trophies, skins, and other artifacts, to the Directorate of Nature Conservation and National Parks. Ustay is currently undergoing interrogation for his alleged crimes.

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As The Internet Went Into Meltdown Over The Killing Of Cecil The Lion By Minnesota Trophy Hunter Walter Palmer, Another Man Was Causing A Stir After A Photo Published In National Geographic Went Viral At The Same Time.

Kerry and Libby Krottinger in their ‘Wall Of Death’ room

Kerry Krottinger, a wealthy Texas hunter and businessman, has slaughtered so much African wildlife over the years that he amassed a veritable “wall of death” in his Dallas home. The National Geographic portrait depicts him sitting with his wife among the taxidermied bodies of Lions, Rhinos, Cheetah, Giraffes and enough Elephant tusks to open a traditional Chinese hospital.

The British-based charity LionAID, which uploaded the photo to their Facebook page, took a markedly dim view. “This is just one Texas trophy hunter with a ‘love’ of Africa,” they write. “Is it any wonder that Africa’s wildlife is disappearing? Just have a count of the various species displayed. Three Lions? So many Elephant tusks? A Giraffe? A Rhino? Kerry must be one of the leading CONservation hunters on the planet!”

Little is known about Krottinger’s personal life. Aside from being an energy millionaire with multiple companies to his name, he and his wife Libby operate a Gypsy horse farm called Ndugu Ranch. A website about the property had been taken offline, but a cache copy can be viewed here. A Facebook page also associated with the ranch was also taken down. Next to a smiling photo of the pair, Krottinger wrote he named the ranch after the Swahili word for “brother” or “family member,” and that the couple has “a great love for Africa.”

Krottinger’s kingly haul of animal carcasses was acquired through what’s known as “conservation hunting,” a practice that is supposedly designed to protect species by allowing people to hunt animals for a high fee that’s then to be used for other conservation efforts.

Far from poachers, conservations hunters — and the websites that promote them — see themselves as environmentalists. LionAID’s director Pieter Kat said the whole premise was nonsense.

“Conservation hunting is a complete myth,” he told Mic. “If conservation hunting had been effective, Cecil the Lion would not have to have been poached out of a national park, because conservation hunting would have maintained a viable and sustainable Lion population within their own trophy hunting concession.” According to Kat, steep fees like the more than $50,000 Palmer paid to kill Cecil typically end up in the pockets of tour operators. “Sustainable hunting does not sustain anything,” he said.

PETA president Ingrid Newkirk was blunter still. “The idea of killing animals to ‘protect’ their species is like having 5-year-olds build a child-labor museum,” she said in a statement to Mic. “True conservationists are the people who pay to keep animals alive through highly lucrative eco-tourism, not the power-hungry people who pay for the cheap thrill of taking magnificent animals’ lives and putting their heads on a wall.”

On Twitter, the response was one of almost universal disgust, with the photo generating near Cecil-levels of rage.

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Kat was unapologetic about the Krottinger-shaming on LionAID’s Facebook page. “What we were trying to do there is to alert people to the fact that trophy hunters have this sort of enjoyment of their activity, and what we would like to expose to people is these sorts of people belong in the 19th century,” he said.

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Was Namibia’s Collared Black Maned Desert Lion Mwezi Illegally Killed By Trophy Hunters Aided By The Ministry of Environment, Forestry and Tourism?

Black Maned Desert Lion Mwezi (XPL 107) Image Credit: Ingrid Mandt

According to the Desert Lion conservation organization DELHRA (Desert Lions Human Relations Aid), it can be assumed that one of the last black-maned male desert lions, “Mwezi” or “XPL 107”, was ‘harvested’ as a trophy on Wednesday, October 11.

In a letter to the Ministry of Environment, Forestry and Tourism (MEFT), DELHRA writes: “Having learned from reliable sources and informants that the male Lion, known as ‘Mwezi’, was allegedly shot, we would like to contact the ministry to know the circumstances and justification for such an alleged killing.”

According to the report, the tracking system of the satellite collar (which is supposed to protect her) was abused to locate the Lion in a protected area. “That is, in the Palmwag concession or, more likely, in the adjacent Skeleton Coast Park, by trophy hunters who were allegedly accompanied by MEFT officials.”

The Desert Lion Conservation Organization further states: “On October 12, we received a report from our informant in Khowarib that the Lion Rangers had received a warning SMS (this happens when a collared lion breaks through a geo-fence) indicating a Lion near the Wild Veld Safaris hunting camp in Khowarib village.” The investigation revealed that it was a dead Lion that had allegedly been kept in the hunting camp since the early evening of October 11.

Black Maned Desert Lion Mwezi (XPL 107) Image Credit: Desert Lion Conservation

According to Desert Lion Conservation, “Mwezi” was still observed and photographed on Sept. 27 when he mated with a lone Lioness, XPL 108, the last survivor of the Obab pride, and followed her into the Skeleton Coast Park, the tracks suggested.

According to DELAHRA, the investigation revealed that two vehicles – one from the MEFT and the other allegedly a hunting vehicle – had entered the Palmwag concession area, with the crew citing “police action” as the reason for the entry. “This coincided with the report coming out of Khowarib later that day, and we learned from a source that the dead lion in the Khowarib hunting camp was the beautiful black-maned desert Lion Mwezi, which had been sought as a trophy for some time.”

DELHRA is of the opinion that a criminal investigation that compels the release of the information will clear up this case and that the parties involved, if warranted, should be prosecuted, as a permit to hunt in the Palmwag concession or in the Skeleton Coast Park cannot have been lawfully granted, and that if it is granted for a hunt in a concession area, but is hunted in the Palmwag or Skeleton Coast Protected Areas, such a permit would be considered null and void.

Black Maned Desert Lion Mwezi (XPL 107) Image Credit: Ingrid Mandt

The letter to MEFT further states: “Based on our information, we would welcome answers to our questions or even a joint and transparent investigation. We ask you to inform us of the following: Has the MEFT issued a trophy permit for hunting XPL 107? If so, could the MEFT please justify this? We ask for a copy of the hunting permit and a copy of the report of the MEFT officer who accompanied the hunting party. We also ask for a copy of the protocol of the website concerning the downloads of the positions of this Lion between September 1 and now by all users. Finally, we are asking for copies of reports of incidents in which XPL 107 may have been involved.”

It goes on to say: “We intend to file a complaint and contact the Information Access Officer and the Ombudsman, as the destruction of natural resources falls within the remit of these bodies in the event that the MEFT does not respond. In such a case, those who have access to the relevant information may be summoned as witnesses.”

The Ministry of the Environment had not responded to questions at the time of going to press.

The Desert Lions Of Namibia Image Credit: Wilderness Travel

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Trophy Hunting in Botswana: A Tale Of Declining Wildlife, Corruption, Exploitation And Impoverishment

In May 2019, Botswana’s President Masisi justified the decision to recommence trophy hunting by emphasising that local communities will be guaranteed more than just menial jobs and enjoy sustainable wildlife management’s economic benefits.

A Bull Elephant shot in Botswana – a so-called ‘100 pounder’.

As the passage of the Hunting Trophies (Import Prohibition) Bill moves to the Committee Stage of the House of Lords, a suite of amendments has been tabled for deliberation. These amendments include amending the Bill from a blanket ban to a case-by-case assessment of trophies imported into the United Kingdom based on whether they contribute to the conservation of wildlife and human economic upliftment.

For example: Amendment Clause 2(d) states that hunting imports may only be granted if:

“a hunting area where the hunting operator can demonstrate that financial or non-financial benefits of trophy hunting materially contributes to the conservation of the trophy hunted species, including habitat protection, anti-poaching measures, and support for community livelihoods.”

A Shopping List For Trophy Hunters

At face value, this appears to be equitable. Ignoring the obvious ethical dispute, if trophy hunting can be proven to benefit the conservation of wildlife and human livelihoods, then perhaps it may be a case to consider.  However, the problem in the majority of trophy hunting cases, and in most countries where trophy hunting takes place, the activity not only is wholly unable to benefit wildlife and human communities, but precipitates the opposite.

Botswana, one of the major destinations for trophy hunters, is a particular case in point.

The southern African nation has been promoted by some in the House of Lords as an example of a trophy hunting ‘success.’ So much so that a high-level delegation of government officials from Botswana, including a minister, an ambassador and a wildlife department head of authority were invited to the House of Lords in June 2023 to make a case for the benefits of trophy hunting in their country. Yet, serious questions surround Botswana’s ability to adequately regulate trophy hunting and provide any meaningful benefits for communities living among and alongside wildlife.

Field investigations, in-person interviews and literature, financial audit, international policy document reviews have been undertaken over the course of a year to assess the validity that Botswana can provide meaningful and tangible benefits to its wildlife and people. This is a summary of the results:

  • On an international level, the country has been flagged for non-compliance under the Convention on International Trade of Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora (CITES) due to its failure to submit annual reports, which provide crucial information for validating offtake of elephants for trophies for the international trophy trade. This indicates that the wildlife conservation in Botswana is not adequately managed.
  • Hunting quotas are not based on scientific data. A total quota of 356 Elephants and 74 Leopards are on the Wildlife Hunting Quota List for 2023. These figures are regarded as abnormally high. The list also includes Zebra, Buffalo, Ostrich, Wildebeest, Kudu, Eland, Gemsbok, Warthog, Baboon, and Lechwe.
  • There is evidence of widespread unethical hunting practices including over-use of already overly high quotas, fraudulent practices, corruption, baiting, and hunting near and within photographic tourism zones. As well as the deployment of aerial support to search for large tuskers and killing Elephant bulls near artificial waterholes.
  • Trophy hunting activities in Botswana are forcing communities, which are expected to rely on the proceeds of trophy hunting, into a perpetual cycle of impoverishment and economic disenfranchisement. Trophy hunting obstructs the development of more meaningful activities like photographic tourism while the proceeds from trophy hunting are so miniscule that individual community members are practically receiving nothing.
  • There is also widespread evidence of corruption and mismanagement of funds generated by the Community-Based Natural Resource Management (CBNRM) system in areas centred on trophy hunting as the main economic activity. The mismanagement and corruption are directly linked to trophy hunting.
  • The current government has revoked scientific research permits of organisations that have been committed to providing peer reviewed scientific data on the conservation status and ecology of Elephants and suppress those that have dared to voice concern over unsustainable and unethical hunting practices.
An aerial photograph of a butchered Elephant, shot by trophy hunters in Botswana.

The adult Elephant Bull (above) has been stripped of its body-parts. The trunk has been hacked off. There are large portions of the Elephant’s skin cut off. All four feet have been removed – presumably to make foot / table stools (the Botswana president, Mokgweetsi Masisi, (in)famously gave Elephant foot stools to the presidents of neighbouring countries at an Elephant Management meeting in Kasane in 2019). The tusks and skull have been taken to a taxidermy. These body parts represent the prize – the trophy – that the hunter was after, and which will be displayed on a wall in their home in Europe or America or Asia. There is also some flesh cut off on the flanks of one side, possibly to provide some meat for the trackers and skinners as a ‘tip’.

It has been claimed in Botswana that trophy hunting is only undertaken in ‘marginal’ wilderness areas that are not deemed viable for photographic tourism. It is also claimed that attempts to convert trophy hunting areas not viable for photographic tourism into photographic tourism areas is a challenge. Areas that are deemed not viable for photographic tourism are remoteness, lower densities of wildlife and monotonous natural landscapes. In these spaces, trophy hunting becomes a necessary evil as the sole provider of revenue for remote communities living within and alongside wildlife.

And yet, this Elephant was shot in a hunting concession (NG41) that is neatly wedged between two national parks – Moremi Game Reserve and Chobe National Park. These two parks are globally renowned for photographic tourism and are consequently brimming with tourists wanting to photograph what Botswana showcases best – wildlife. The fact that that this Elephant was shot right in the middle of these tourist hotspots makes a mockery of the claim that trophy hunting in Botswana only takes place in marginal areas.

The Wall Of Death: A Hunter’s ‘Trophy’ Room

The standard narrative from hunters and their proponents is that trophy hunting is an essential conservation tool that, if conducted ‘ethically’, preserves endangered wildlife and provides revenue for impoverished communities living in marginalised areas where photographic tourism is absent. Yet as this case shows, as they all do, that narrative is a false one. Stripped of its protective fairy-tale veil, the true face of trophy hunting lays bare, a narcissistic bloodlust of a few depraved individuals who care little for ethics, community upliftment or wildlife conservation. ~ Adam Cruise.

In The Trophy Hunter’s Sights: Botswana’s Elephants

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We believe EVERY animal should be treated with respect, empathy, and understanding. We raise awareness to protect and conserve wild, captive, companion and farm animals.

It is vital that we protect animals against acts of cruelty, abuse, and neglect by enforcing established animal welfare laws and, when necessary, take action to ensure that those who abuse animals are brought to justice.

Protect All Wildlife are involved in many projects to protect animals’ rights, welfare, and habitats. Money contributed to Protect All Wildlife supports ALL of our worthy programmes and gives us the flexibility to respond to emerging needs. Your donations make our work possible.

Therese Coffey: We Will Do All We Can To Help Trophy-Hunting Ban Become Law

The Environment Secretary offered assurances about the Hunting Trophies (Import Prohibition) Bill in a letter to campaigners.

The Government has pledged to do “all we can” to ensure a ban on trophy hunting imports becomes law amid fears pro-hunting peers could “wreck” the reforms.

Environment Secretary Therese Coffey said the Government will not support any further amendments to the Hunting Trophies (Import Prohibition) Bill.

The proposed legislation would prohibit bringing into the country body parts from species deemed of conservation concern.

The Bill, introduced by Conservative MP Henry Smith, has already cleared the House of Commons.

But a group of peers have raised concerns and tabled amendments that threaten to derail the proposals.

Time is running out to consider the Bill and it will fall if it does not receive royal assent before the current parliamentary session stops ahead of the King’s Speech on November 7.

Ms Coffey, in a letter to the Humane Society International/UK dated August 17, wrote: “It is a manifesto commitment to ban the import of hunting trophies from endangered animals and we are working hard to deliver.

“The Bill passed the Commons in March, with the Government’s support, and we will do all we can to support its progress through the House of Lords working with Baroness Fookes.

“I can confirm that we will not be supporting any further amendments to the Bill. I expect committee stage to progress next month.”

Conservative peer Lady Fookes is the Bill’s sponsor in the House of Lords.

Claire Bass, senior director of campaigns and public affairs at Humane Society International/UK, said: “There is a small and vocal group of pro-hunting peers doing their best to wreck this Bill, but we need the Government to remain focused on the almost 90% of the public who want this ban on the import of hunting trophies.

“The timing for this Bill is indeed extremely tight but we were encouraged to receive a letter from Environment Secretary Therese Coffey yesterday.”

No Friday sittings to consider private members’ bills are expected in the House of Lords in September, according to the Government whips’ office in the Lords.

With the party conference recess running until October 16, there are expected to be just two possible Friday sittings before the parliamentary session ends.

Mr Smith, MP for Crawley, said he is speaking with the Government in a bid to secure more parliamentary time for his Bill.

Conservative peer Lord Mancroft, who opposes the proposals, said amendments have been tabled in a bid to “clean up” or clarify parts of the “badly drafted” Bill.

He acknowledged it is “very possible” the amendments could halt the Bill’s progress and rated its chances as “less than 10%”.

Mr Smith said the planned legislation is about UK import policy, adding opponents have pressed “spurious arguments” about how trophy hunting helps conservation.

A House of Lords briefing paper on the Bill stated: “According to figures from the Cites (Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Flora and Fauna) trade database, 190 hunting trophies from Cites-listed species were imported into the UK in 2020 (the most recent complete year for which figures are available).”

By Richard Wheeler – The Independent

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An Open Letter To Carl Knight – Last Of The Great White Hunters (Satire)

Dear Carl Knight,

When I got wind of your courageous exploits, I felt I had to congratulate you. For a start, you are British. We adore the British – they are our second favourite colonialists. The first, obviously, are the Dutch. They gave us the Afrikaners who in turn gave us apartheid. What’s not to love about apartheid, right? Was that the reason your parents moved to South Africa in 1980?

Your efforts to encourage tourism to South Africa in these fraught times are laudable, indeed. It’s not easy these days to find a Brit who is interested in anything other than Brexit and that tawdry harlot, Meghan Markle. 

Even though you’re only 46 and hail from Epsom, Surrey, you have your very own company operating out of Johannesburg. It’s called Take Aim Safaris. At first I thought it might be another of those bunny-fondling outfits that think the best way to shoot animals is with a camera. Ha! Poor fools. Unlike you, sir, they have clearly never cradled a 300 Winchester Magnum in one arm and a high-class prostitute in the other.

And you named your eldest son Hunter! You wouldn’t expect a man who enjoys shooting animals in the face to have a sense of humour. Well done.

You spotted a gap in the market. As the plague is still very much with us, people are understandably reluctant to travel. That’s until you reminded them that with fewer hunters around, wild animals have been breeding like, well, wild animals. You can barely walk anywhere in South Africa right now without bumping into an elephant.

So you fired off a newsletter to 3,000 of your clients around the world encouraging them to come here and kill a bunch of stuff for sport. And what a sport it is! Okay, maybe not so much for the animals, but they don’t pay taxes and won’t be missed.

You wrote, “Big elephant and trophy buffalo + hippo, croc are plentiful. The areas are well rested, the animal movement is fantastic.” Let’s see how fantastically they move with a 5.56-caliber bullet lodged in their brain haha.

“I have quota available on the big cats: leopard and lion plus elephant bulls at unbeatable prices.” This is great news. I have never trusted an animal that can’t change its spots. Leopards are duplicitous, violent brutes and I am delighted to hear that they are now on special. Lions, too, will pretend to befriend you, then have your throat out just for the sport of it. They are cats, after all. Did you know this? Or do you simply judge everything with four legs according to the price tag on its hairy ass? Fair enough.

Some of your prices do seem a bit steep. $8 for a guinea fowl? Leave a trail of breadcrumbs into your oven and they’ll cook themselves. $150 for a mongoose? Can’t be much left, especially if you’re using hollow-point ammo. And $75 for a vervet monkey? Daylight robbery, that is. Porcupines are priced right at $300. Even though it’s more of an execution than a hunt, you could still get a quill in the eye if you were very drunk and had to fall on him.

In a recent interview with African Hunting Gazette, you said you shot your first leopard at 16. Impressive! I hadn’t even had my first blowjob by that age and there you were on a wild killing spree. Have you had your first blowjob yet? No matter. It’s the killing that’s important.

I love that you hunted for a Christian drug rehab in the Northern Cape when you were younger. You gave them more meat than they knew what to do with. That’s a David Lynch movie, that is. Produced by Oliver Stone. Featuring a young Sylvester Stallone as you.

You’ve hunted all over – Mozambique, Botswana, Zimbabwe … you even shot a bear in Russia. I suppose he didn’t understand when you shouted, “Hands up! Don’t move or I’ll shoot!” You also said Namibia is a great place to hunt. 

“Namibia reminds me of South Africa 30 years ago with its low human population and massive open spaces.” Yep, there was hardly anyone living in South Africa in 1991. An easy mistake to make, what with 40 million people being tucked away out of sight. As for the massive open spaces, well, you had the Group Areas Act to thank for that.

The magazine asked what’s your favourite animals to hunt and you said, “Dagga Boys!” What? That was the name of my gang when I was growing up. But you were talking about something else. “Such an exciting hunt … it’s kill or be killed when you’re hunting buffalo.” So you engage in hand-to-hoof combat with these brutes? Respect, bro.

Our president is also into buffalo in a big way. Mainly for breeding purposes, though. No, I don’t mean … never mind.

Your greatest trophy was the buffalo you hunted with your dad in Mozambique. “It was, and remains, the fulfillment of a father and son dream hunt in a perfect environment.”

My greatest trophy was for tennis in Standard 8. It was tiny but I was very proud. My father never taught me how to hunt. Instead, he taught me how to play pool. The thrill just wasn’t the same, although people did die in some of the pubs he took me to. 

You talk fondly of the “38-inch bull in Mozambique that put me firmly on a path I’m still on”. That’s, like, just over a metre? What kind of small-ass bull is that? You might as well have kicked him to death. Anyway, what do I know. I’m sure you believe your wife when she tells you that size isn’t everything.

So the hippo-humpers are saying that many of the animals on your list are endangered. This is nonsense. There are around 400 000 African elephants left in the wild. If you shot a hundred a day, they would last for ten years. That’s not exactly endangered in my book.

There are also 20 000 lions roaming about off their leashes. That’s more than enough lions for everyone. You can get through five a day at least, maybe more if they stop hiding up trees and in cardboard boxes. Sure, their numbers have plummeted by over 40% in the last three generations as a result of hunting, but our national IQ has dropped 40 points in three years as a result of bad education and too much CNN and you don’t see us shooting our stupid people, do you? Damn, this stuff is strong. 

Where was I? Oh, yes. You charge £10,000 to shoot an elephant? That, my friend, is a small fortune in my pathetic currency. And £14,500 to put a bullet into the back of a lion’s head? That’s way too much. Are you on drugs? Tell you what. I’ll give you R10 000 for two baby elephants, three monkeys and a crocodile. You do mix-and-match packages, right? And you do pay your taxes, right?

I see you have lived in Joburg for almost your entire life. It’s completely understandable, then, that you would want to kill everything in sight. And you’ve been organising assassinations ever since 2008? Nice work if you can get it.

I see those gerbil-suckers over at MailOnline have been questioning your ethics. How very dare they. You told them, “We eat what we hunt … we love and conserve animals.” I’ve often wondered what elephant tastes like. Tough, I imagine. Do you make carpaccio out of the leopards? That would be a winner among the Italians.

You also told the running dogs of the media that “I have broken no laws”. Good one, mate. You and me and Jacob Zuma know it’s impossible to break laws in this country. Well, you can break them alright, but there ain’t jackshit gonna happen to you.

That bastion of truth, The Mirror, asked how you felt about the dwindling number of wild animals in SA. You said they were lying, which they obviously were, and said, “In South Africa we have over 20,000,000 wild animals bred and conserved here. The birth rate per annum is around 3,000,000.” You might want to check your science, son. I think you’re talking about our people, here.

By the way, my friend Ted said you look like a bit of a cunt. You’ll be pleased to know that I had one of the servants horsewhip him soundly. Your name is Knight, for heaven’s sake. You’re a member of the realm. And I do mean member.

I liked the way you wrapped up your interview with that hunting magazine: “For my family and I, there is no life without God.” There’s a rich vein of irony in there somewhere. 

Did you know that if your Boris Johnson had kept his word and implemented the ban on trophy imports pledged in his election manifesto and repeated in the Commons last year, you’d be back in Surrey organising weasel hunts by now?

Our president also has trouble keeping his promises. Politicians, eh? Long may they lie.

An original article written by Ben Trovato

Ben Trovato is the author of thirteen books, although you wouldn’t think so if you had to see his living conditions. His notorious trilogy of letters illuminated the darkest recesses of the human psyche, while his self-help guide went a long way towards boosting divorce and suicide rates. He also wrote a book that almost turned golf into a blood sport and brought out a survival manual that caused more harm than good. With a background in print and television journalism, Trovato’s popular newspaper columns have earned him a wicked reputation and a fatty liver.He can often be found surfing instead of meeting his deadlines. Trovato lives alone with two regrets and a hangover.

South African Government Withdraws Regulations Aimed To Protect Endangered Wildlife Species

JOHANNESBURG – The South African government moved to withdraw regulations on threatened species that would have protected vulnerable wildlife from being hunted.

Forestry, Fisheries and Environment Minister Barabara Creecy announced the decision to drop the amended protected species regulations in a government gazette notice – one day before it was supposed to be implemented

The legislation that was intended to be enforced in April was set to widen the number of species that should be protected by stricter wildlife laws.

However, the Wildlife Ranching South Africa and Professional Hunters Association of South Africa challenged the Forestry, Fisheries and Environment Department on the amended list.

After considering various issues raised by the associations, the department decided to withdraw the implementation of the newly-revised legislature.

Forestry, Fisheries and Environment Minister Barabara Creecy announced the decision to drop the amended protected species regulations in a government gazette notice – one day before it was supposed to be implemented.

After the two organisations legally challenged the motion to protect a bigger range of wildlife, Creecy reached an out-of-court settlement with the parties.

Her reasons for withdrawing the regulations protecting terrestrial and freshwater species were not clearly explained, nor did she mention the associations’ issues with the regulations.

In addition, Creecy also retracted revised legislation that would have clamped clamped down on the Trophy Hunting of Leopards and Elephant management

The revised legislation would have clamped down on the trophy hunting of Elephants

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A Ban On The Import Of Animal Hunting Trophies Into The UK Set To Become Law.

Plans to ban imports of animal hunting trophies to Great Britain are set to become law.

The government has backed legislation which would stop hunters bringing back body parts of thousands of species, including Lions, Rhinos, Elephants and Polar Bears, killed abroad.

Tory MP Henry Smith, who proposed the bill, said it would help conserve the world’s most endangered species.

It was approved by MPs and will now face further scrutiny in the Lords.

As it has the support of the government, the Hunting Trophies (Import Prohibition) Bill is likely to become law.

Every year, hunters from the UK travel abroad, often to southern Africa, and pay thousands of pounds to legally shoot animals, such as Lions and Elephants.

Under current rules, with the right paperwork, they can then bring trophies, such as stuffed heads or horns, back to the UK.

Campaigners backing the bill had feared it could be blocked after more than 30 amendments were tabled by two Conservative MPs, Sir Christopher Chope and Sir Bill Wiggin.

However, after the government accepted two of their proposals – to establish an advisory board on hunting trophies and to limit the power of the secretary of state to add new species to the list the ban would apply to – the pair dropped their other demands for further changes to the bill.

Critics of the plans have argued that profits from hunting are used to pay for conservation projects in African countries and can ultimately help to protect endangered species.

Sir Bill, the Tory MP for North Herefordshire, told the Commons there were concerns that removing the revenue supplied by trophy hunters could “open the floodgate to poachers, who will cause far more cruelty and pain to the animals and will pose a far greater threat to endangered species”.

However, animal welfare charities have rejected this, arguing that hardly any of the revenues from trophy hunting ever reach local communities.

Environment Minister Trudy Harrison told MPs: “I do recognise that some of the income from trophy hunting has contributed towards the protection of habitat and the prevention of poaching.

“But to bring back the body parts of endangered species… is not the way forward.”

Sir Bill also suggested the legislation was a “a neo-colonial attempt to control conservation management programmes of African democratic countries”.

This was denied by Mr Smith, who insisted: “This is about the values that we in Britain have, that we do not want to be part of a trade in endangered species’ body parts.

“We are not telling other countries how to run their trade, or their conservation or hunting policies.”

Some MPs, including the Democratic Unionist Party’s Sammy Wilson, also raised concerns Northern Ireland could become a “back door” for hunting imports as the law would not apply there.

Ms Harrison said the government would do “everything we possibly can” to ensure Northern Ireland was not a “stepping stone for imports to Great Britain”.

Explorer Sir Ranulph Fiennes, singer Ed Sheeran and actress Dame Judi Dench are among the celebrities who have backed the proposed legislation.

Animal charities welcomed the progress of the bill, with Born Free saying it sent “a clear signal that, with wildlife in crisis, allowing rich people to kill wild animals for kicks has no place in the modern world”.

Humane Society International said it was “relieved” only two amendments to the bill were accepted, although the charity added that it was disappointed one removed the power of the environment secretary to add other species in need of protection to the legislation.

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